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| March 6, 2013 |
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Ignoring
Clint Eastwood's advice in "Dirty Harry" that
opinions, like certain body parts, are best kept to
yourself.
 In
the old days, when you retired, a common gift from your
fellow workers, or the company, was a nice watch. Now that
you didn't have to be somewhere every day, you had a fancier
way of knowing the time.
Another popular gift
item, a bit of a gag, was a clock that only showed the day
of the week. Of the two, for a retired person, the day clock
was probably a more practical gift. After all, a retired
person has plenty of time, and nothing to remember to do,
right? Maybe not.
 My
wife will be 70 in August, I'll stay a young 69 until
December, but when she clicks up a year each Summer, I
suddenly feel older myself, and when December finally
arrives, it seems that I'm already that age. Adding to the
confusion, lately it seems that weeks are only about 4 days
long.
Why does time speed up as we travel though
our retirement years? When I was a kid in grade school, it
seemed like the minute hand on the classroom clock would
hardly move, especially when it was after 3 in the
afternoon, and the teacher dismissed us at 3:15. I remember
it was one of those clocks where the second hand moved with
a tick, stopping at each second, why couldn't it go faster?
A friend of mine theorized that time seems slow to
children, because each day is a big percentage of your total
time on Earth, but when you get older, a day becomes a less
significant part of the total, and zips on by.
"...tomorrow's
just your future yesterday."
Late Night television host Craig
Ferguson |
On those rare occasions when I write a check,
about once a month now, I sometimes struggle to figure out
what month it is. A few weeks ago, I was at the bank, up at
the teller window, and was writing a check for cash. I
hesitated on the date line, my pen hovering over it, and my
mind was racing ... What month was it, I thought. November?
December? "It's February 13th", said the
helpful teller, sensing my problem.
Our rural
garbage pickup happens every other Monday, and I'm
constantly forgetting to put the big rolling container out
by the road, and only realize what day it is, when the truck
goes roaring by without stopping. Why can't I keep track of
that? Our local State Farm agent holds a safe driving for
seniors class now and then, attending it will get me 10% off
my insurance premium, but I forgot to go three times in a
row. His secretary would call me a couple of days before to
remind me, I fully intended to go, but realized a few days
later that I'd forgotten again. Last month, with a reminder
from the agent, and from my wife, I made it to the training
session, and look forward to my new reduced insurance bill.
So,
I started to feel better about remembering things, I bought
a white board with an erasable marker for the refrigerator
door, and started to write things down. It was working, I
thought, finally, I'm organized.
I woke up a
couple of weeks ago, looked at the clock, it was almost 8
AM. Out of bed I jumped, hit the button on the coffee maker,
turned on the television, and settled in to watch "CBS
Sunday Morning", a show I seldom miss, going back to
the days when Charles Kuralt was the host. 8 AM came, I was
on Channel 4, the CBS station, but another show started, it
wasn't what I expected.
What was going on? I
called back to my wife in the bedroom, "Hazel",
"CBS Sunday Morning" isn't on, I wonder what's
happening?"
Hazel walked in, looked me in
the eyes, and said, "It's Tuesday".
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