|August 18, 2015
Clint Eastwood's advice in "Dirty Harry" that
opinions, like certain body parts, are best kept to
I'm taking with me
man isn't feeling well, so he goes to the doc for a checkup.
The doctor runs a bunch of tests, has the guy sit down in
his office and says to him "I've got bad news,
you've got rabies, and you only have a few days to live".
The guy asks the doctor for a paper and pencil, and
starts writing like crazy. "Are you making out your
will? the doc asks. "No," says the
man, as he continues to write furiously, "I'm
making a list of the people I'm going to bite".
reminded me of this story recently, it got me thinking about
my own end of life, and I decided that when I go, it would
only be right to take a few people with me.
of course, is not going to happen, but I entertained myself
putting together a list of prospective fellow passengers on
that last flight to the great beyond:
- That guy I know who is always telling people that "he'll
pray for them". Telling someone that you'll pray
for them is basically saying you're not planning on
doing anything to actually help.
- The next store clerk who asks me if I'd like to
donate to their new pet charity. Everybody has a cause.
- The two kids on bikes, wearing short sleeve dress
shirts with name tags, who ring your doorbell and try to
convince you to become a Mormon.
- The next anybody who rings my doorbell and tries to
convince me to do or buy anything.
- The local cop who hides down the street with his
radar gun on the last day of the month, trying to make
- Any politician who thinks it is ok to take money from
the 49% who pay all the income taxes and give it to the
51% who pay no income taxes at all. Oh wait, that would
be all of them.
- And, for sure, I'll be reaching up to strangle the
hospital chaplain if he starts that "Yea,
though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death"
thing, a guaranteed way to scare patients to death,
finishing them off right then and there.
I'll bet you have a few ideas to add to this
list, send me an email.
Air Aviation Referral Service
responses, and will be glad to post them here. Email your
|You forgot the Jehovah's Witnesses, who, if you EVER
let your responses to them sound even vaguely warm, will
never stop trying again, ever.
Cute article, but I wouldn't want to
spend my after life traveling with those dopes. -
Sarah in Washington, DC
Ron says: I wasn't
planning on taking the same plane.
It might surprise
you to read that I also don't like the phrase "pray for"
someone. The implication is that I want for them what they
want, but they might not know what's best. Maybe it's best
that someone who's very sick should die.
Jeanette in Minnesota